Apparently the residents of Ypsilanti Township are incapable of making certain decisions, such as which company to pay for rubbish removal. Thank goodness the township government rushed to our rescue and saved us from our own incompetence. Knowing that their constituents were incompetent dim wits, they did their civic duty by selecting a garbage company for them. As a result, we now pay taxes to a brilliant group of omniscient bureaucrats, who then in turn cut a check to Waste Management to pick up our garbage. I feel so blessed that they relieved me of the complex task of choosing a company to do a job and then paying them for the service. I hope that someday they do me the favor of making other, more important decisions in my life for me. Hey, maybe they will dictate what size car I can drive someday!
Now, we are allowed to put out 3 bags of garbage but unlimited recycling. We have become avid recyclers, but with triplets the trash tends to pile up. Rest assured though, that if we put out a fourth bag of trash, the sanitation engineer will see to it that I not enlarge my carbon footprint and will refuse to take it. That is, of course, unless that fourth article of trash happens to be a bright and shiny new Schwinn Roadster.
Exhibit A - My Driveway On A Typical Day
As you may recall, the triplets received three brand new tricycles a couple of weeks ago. This past Wednesday morning, they were playing with them and the rest of their toys in our driveway, as they do everyday. About 11:00 a.m. I received a call from Greta informing me that the garbage man just went by and that one of the tricycles was now missing. My first thought was that it could not have been mistaken for trash since there were three tricycles in the driveway, along with a bunch of other toys. Plus, we had our maximum of garbage out anyway. It must be some kind of mistake.
Nevertheless, I called Waste Management, who told me to call Ypsilanti Township, who then called Waste Management who then got a hold of the driver who then got in touch somehow with Ypsilanti Township (tax dollars at work here). Ypsilanti Township, after speaking with the driver from Waste Management, called me back with an update. The driver did take the tricycle, but claimed that the it was "in" the trash and that it didn't look new. Look at the picture above and tell me that the these tricycles do not "look" new. They are each 30+ pounds of solid steel and chrome, quite possibly the most eye turning trikes ever created. They are only 2 weeks old and even stink like new tire rubber. I was told that it was a lost cause because the driver threw it in the compactor. NO WAY did he compact it! NO WAY! Even if he thought, in some blind moment, that we were tossing it out, there was no way any right minded person would compact a brand new tricycle like this. That thing went in his cab as soon as he turned the corner. I hate to assume this about someone, but come on. Not to mention there were two others just like it in the driveway along with a boat load of other kids toys. Not to mention, if that had been a 4th bag of trash it would've still been sitting there.
Exhibit B - Shiny, Isn't It?
The city basically told me "too bad". I would love to ask the driver about it, but I don't need trouble with my garbage man. At the end of the day, I can't just select another garbage company. I have to keep using Waste Management because my township doesn't give me a choice. So basically, I have to keep paying the guy who stole my kids bike. Is it that big of deal? No. It is just a tricycle. It does, however, exemplify everything I find wrong with the world these days. Namely government incompetence and theft, only on a small scale.
Exhibit C - One Of The Victims