February 19, 2007

Burnout



Today started like any other day. I woke up feeling good, went to work, had a good day, and left for the NICU excited to see my babies. As soon as I entered the hospital, all of my energy drained from my body. I felt as if I hadn't slept in days, and suddenly felt like this whole experience was never going to end. When I arrived in the nursery, Greta informed me that Niklas had his brain scan and his ventricles increased slightly. This is not that big of deal, it just makes the possiblility that Niklas will need a shunt that much stronger. We did expect all along for the shunt to be necessary, but it's just one of those days. Lukas also had a colder temperature when I got there, so we put on one of Connie's home made knitted hats and that seemed to rectify the situation. Lukas received his feeding through the tube tonight, and I couldn't help but think that tube feeding seems like a long way from going home. Niklas finished about half of his bottle before getting tired and needing to be tube fed the rest. All in all it was an okay day, but all of these little things on top of it being a burnout Monday made it seem worse than it was. Yesterday we were able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but today the exhaustion of this journey set in. I have a feeling that a good night's sleep will fix a lot of things. The picture here is of Niklas with a little bandage on his head. Each day the doctors stick a needle into the reservoir that was placed beneath his scalp and draw out 8cc's of cerebral fluid. Afterwards, they put him in this elevated crib for about an hour until the little hole seals back up. The other picture is of Lukas and I.

9 comments:

Kevin Currie said...

Hang in there man. It's gotta be tough and I don't blame you for being tired. I was exhausted and had a grumpy Monday and I don't have the weight of the world on my shoulders. You and Greta have both been so amazing through all of this. Your babies love you for it. Parents of The Year for Sure!

Anonymous said...

I think it only normal to have days like this. Were so close to them going home that we are becoming impatient. I'm know you and Greta are sick of the routine of going to the hospital. Remember, though, this will be worth it when all is done. This has been the longest 2 months of my life; but I guarantee you that the years will fly by and this will all be a faint memory. Your love and care has made all the difference, along with the prayers from family, friends, and even people we don't know that well. Thanks to all who send their thoughts to this blog; it keeps us going. Please continue to pray for us and the babies. Love Granny

Anonymous said...

What an exhausting journey this has been for you, Greta and the babies. Your mom is right when she says one day you will look back on this as a small, faint memory. I love keeping posted on the babies and looking at your blog every day, as does my entire family! I wish you the best of the luck. Your family picture from yesterday (minus Niklas) is beautiful! Ms. Piggy’s chubby cheeks are so cute. I bet the babies loved being held by their Granny, too! Mondays suck anyway, hopefully today is better! Keep your heads up high for a homecoming real soon!

Lindsey Anderson:)

Anonymous said...

Greta and Jason. Don't be discouraged, your babies have made remarkable progress. You probably don't realize how blessed you are. Babies can come home on feeding tubes so don't let this get you down. Take each day as it comes. Keep the faith. Judy Stark

chris said...

Kev's thoughts are the same as mine- Hang in there. Things will change for the positive as quickly as they changed from your last entry. With as many people behind your family, you'll pull through this obstacle like all the rest.

Degroote

Carrie Socia said...

You are sure to have many more days like yesterday. I feel like I'm UP & DOWN all the time & it's hard to just find that good groovy feeling all the time. I'm sure today you are feeling better... there are the good & the bad but keep on hanging onto those good ones. Sometimes it's just good to voice your feelings those days when everything just feels rotten. You had such a wonderful support network, both family & friends, & all the Doctors & Nurses who have given their love to all your babies as well. Hopefully you had a good nights rest... that can make the world of a difference. Keep on pluggin' & chuggin' - you guys have come so far & so have those babies.

May you all have a Blessed day today!

All our thoughts & prayers coming your way!

Carrie

Anonymous said...

I try to read your blog daily and you two have done and will continue to do an amazing job with the triplets. Exhaustion is a natural element in taking care of multiples - it does get better!

I think I mentioned to Greta at Melissa's shower that my twins came home from the NICU on oxygen and monitors. Just a helpful tip, see if the NICU will provide you with paperwork to obtain a temporary handicap permit - comes in handy when traveling with multiples.

Please keep me in mind if you need someone to watch Gabbie while you visit the boys in the NICU. (I'm very comfortable with preemie/infant CPR and oxygen care.)

I will continue to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Kristen
(Melissa's friend)

Anonymous said...

Greta/Jason - I can only imagine the level of exhaustion, both from the physical and emotional level of commitment. The product of your exhaustion is the fantastic progress the babies have made. When they are all 16 and driving, you can smile and think, yes, we will get through this too!
Bless you all, you are amazing! SaraP

Anonymous said...

Greta/Jason -- I just want to say I was thinking of you and the babies and how well you’ve been able to hold up and hang in. I try to tune into the blog regularly and have watched the babies make so much amazing progress!!! I’m glad to hear things are on the upswing. Just imagine the terrible two’s, pre-teen years, etc. will be a cake walk. ;) Wishing everyone all the best, all the time.

-Ritch